The Talk
by Callidus-Neuro
Summary: "Vivio-chan, can Fate-mama and I please have a talk with you after dinner?" In which Vivio experiences 'The Talk' with her mothers. Except, it doesn't go as planned and she hears way too much. WAY TOO MUCH. Vivio may be permanently scarred. Contains NanoFate, mentions of Vivio x Einhart and lots of family humour.


**So in between writing for my other story, I decided to take a break and write a light-hearted humour fic. I started out with the rough premise of the story but the rest just kind of wrote itself. I hope you enjoy! **

**I'm not too sure about the setting. It can be interpreted in any way and it doesn't really matter. If I had to say, an AU without magic? Anyway, I don't own anything and this contains girl x girl. **

* * *

"Vivio-chan, could Fate-mama and I please have a talk with you after dinner?"

Vivio glanced up from her textbook and stared at her mother, trying to see if she was in trouble. Whenever Nanoha-mama asked to have a talk with her nowadays, it never was a good sign. But when she saw a pleasant smile and found no hints of irritation in Nanoha-mama's eyes, she relaxed and shrugged.

"Okay," Vivio replied before focusing her attention back to her homework. Ever since she had reached high school, the blasted thing seemed to pile up endlessly each day. It was probably a good thing that she wasn't a procrastinator. Since neither of her mothers were the type to push work to the last minute, she had been raised to complete a task at the very first opportunity. It had been hard at first since as a kid, she was hyperactive by nature and hated the idea of wasting time doing work when she could be playing with her friends outside. But after enduring the hawk eye of Nanoha-mama, it had become almost second nature to her.

"What's it about though?" Vivio asked offhandedly.

Nanoha-mama simply smiled at her. "You'll see."

Maybe that should have been some kind of sign; maybe it should have sent the warning bells in Vivio's head to ring at full volume but it didn't. She remained completely oblivious to the scarring experience that would soon befall her.

* * *

(0)(0)(0)

* * *

After dinner, Vivio sat opposite her mothers and waited patiently.

"So, can you tell me what this is about?" she asked. During dinner, Fate-mama had asked the exact same question as Nanoha-mama and had given the exact same smile, if not a bit awkward. Now Vivio was dying to know what this talk was about. As far as she knew, she had not broken any curfews or household rules and had definitely not got into another fistfight.

"Yes, well. As you know, Vivio-chan, you're sixteen now," Fate-mama started. Vivio nodded, unsure of where this was going. When Fate-mama showed no signs of continuing, Nanoha-mama took hold of the reigns of this conversation.

"And we realise that you're now at the age where it would be considered healthy to be dating…" she trailed off. Hundreds of red flags raised in Vivio's head. Silence stretched over the Takamachi-Harlaown family.

Until finally, Fate-mama blurted out, "We know that you're dating Einhart-chan."

Vivio's jaw dropped and Nanoha-mama gave Fate-mama a scolding glare.

"Wha…how…" Vivio stuttered, her brain unable to form a single coherent sentence.

"We saw you two making out after school the other day."

Vivio wasn't sure which was more mortifying: having her mothers witnessing her kiss with Einhart or Nanoha-mama's usage of the phrase 'making out'. She decided that they were equally bad. And now that she thought about it, her mothers did seem to act weirdly when they came to pick her up few days ago. The conversations seemed somewhat forced and she had noticed the way Fate-mama had constantly glanced at her from the rear-view mirror. Now she knew why and god was it embarrassing.

"We just want you to know that we're perfectly fine with your relationship," Nanoha-mama continued gently. Fate-mama opened her mouth, as if to put forward an objection but snapped her mouth shut when Nanoha-mama delivered a not-so-discreet dig to the blonde's ribs.

"That's right, dear," Fate-mama forced out, mindful of Nanoha-mama's piercing stare.

"However," Nanoha-mama said, causing dread to pool at the pit of Vivio's stomach. "before we can fully give our consent to your relationship, we would like you to follow some simple rules. Can you do that?"

Vivio nodded numbly. At this point, she had no other options but to comply with the terms and conditions, so to speak.

"Firstly," Nanoha-mama said, raising her index finger, "you are not allowed to forego your learning process in favour of spending time with your girlfriend. If I see your grades drop because you're too busy having fun with Einhart-chan, you will be grounded for a week."

Vivio supposed that was reasonable.

Fate-mama cleared her throat. "Secondly, no sex in the house while we are here. I don't want to walk into your room and see you and Einhart-chan going at it like bunnies in mating season."

"Mama!" Vivio gasped, thoroughly scarred by Fate-mama's choice of wording. Her blonde mother merely raised an eyebrow, as if saying, _What? _Vivio groaned in defeat. She would have to endure this.

Nanoha-mama smirked. "Oh Fate-chan, don't be like that. We do it every night with Vivio-chan right next door. In fact, I'm surprised there hasn't been an incident where she walked in on us, with how loud we can get."

By this point, Vivio had clasped both hands over her ears. But it was no use. She had heard every single word. "EWW!" she screeched. "I did NOT need to hear that!"

Nanoha-mama was undeterred as she continued. "And remember that time when we broke one of the bed legs? Mmm…you were so sexy Fate-chan, being all rough. I loved the way you shoved me against the wall and…"

"LALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"…oh and your eyes. And let's not forget the handcuffs. I love it when you talk dirty Fate-chan, it makes me so hot…"

That was it. Vivio had had enough. With her hands still tightly clamped over her ears, she sprinted out of the living room and slammed her bedroom door shut behind her. She climbed into her bed and counted to hundred, hoping that sleep would soon claim her and brainwash her of the conversation she had just had with her mothers.

* * *

(0)(0)(0)

* * *

In the living room, Nanoha was clutching her sides as her body racked with laughter.

"Oh my god…did you see her face? It was hilarious!" she said between gasps.

Fate smiled at her wife. "It was entertaining, but I feel a bit bad. Poor Vivio-chan, she must have been scarred for life."

As her laugher died down, Nanoha regained her composure and waved her hands dismissively. "Oh don't worry. She's a Takamachi-Harlaown. There's nothing she can't handle. Besides, it'll teach her a lesson about being so public with her affections."

"I don't think she'll be able to look at us the same way ever again," Fate mused. She stopped when she felt a pair of arms snaking around her neck and weight settling on her lap. Nanoha looked up at her blonde wife with a seductive smile.

"I'm sure she'll get over it…" Nanoha purred as she leaned in. "But moving on from that… talking about sex got me all hot. Why don't we do something about it hmm?"

Fate's eyes darkened with desire. She wrapped her arms around Nanoha's waist and smirked. "How about I shove you against the wall again, just the way you like it?"

"Mmm…yes…" Nanoha moaned as Fate captured her lips in a hungry kiss.


End file.
